Overcoming Ingratitude
The young man in line ahead of me was a few cents short on his drink. Noticing the shortfall, the change in my pocket was enough to make up the difference. He turned for the door saying nothing. Should I have expected a word of thanks? The look on my face was a dead giveaway as I handed my debit card to the cashier. Shaking my head, I muttered, “Not even a word of thanks!”
“The coffee’s on me!” the gracious cashier said.
Is it just me or has anybody else been the recipient of ingratitude?
Of course, I thanked him for his kindness while stifling the negativity triggered by the ingratitude I’d just experienced. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. Why am I so offended by ingratitude?
Why does it feel so much better when the person you help just says, “Thank you!” Upon further reflection perhaps his emotional tank was running on empty and other things in his life were making him bitter. I sloughed it off and went on my way.
Learning to be Grateful
When people do things for us, how mindful are we just to say thank
you?
Learning to be grateful requires intentionality. The kind shown by neurosurgeon, Dr. James Doty in his book,
Into the Magic Shop,.You don’t find out until about three fourth’s way through the book that he is an atheist. Doty came up with
“the Alphabet of the Heart.” I found it interesting that “G” stands for gratitude and he said he strives to show gratitude every day. I thought to myself: if a self-proclaimed atheist strives to show gratitude every day, how much more ought a follower of Jesus be grateful and thankful for the steady flow of blessings from God’s gracious hands.
How can I learn gratitude?
In the first place, gratitude requires a daily pursuit. John C. Maxwell says, “It’s not about what you do in a day; it’s about what you do daily.” Daily find something to be grateful for; and when you think you have exhausted the possibilities, be thankful for your life, even with with your narrow slice of pain and suffering, deprivations, problems and difficulties.
Likewise when you pray, wrap your prayers in thanksgiving (
Philippians 4:6). It takes intentional effort. That’s why I started recording answers to prayer in 2007. During Covid 19 while confined to my home, I began a “
Gratitude Journal.” I practiced handwritten journaling in my younger years after reading Bill Hybels’ book,
Honest to God? with great spiritual benefit, but today, with a laptop computer or iPad, it is much easier.
If this is a new discipline to you, I encourage you to take time either at night or in the morning to write down three to five things you are thankful for. Would it surprise you that as of today, March 20, 2024, I made my 5568th entry?
Regardless, whether you own a laptop or iPad, a simple notebook or journal will do. Dedicate a notebook or journal to gratitude so you can reflect and remind yourself of answered prayers and all of the good things God does for you. If you own an iWatch, when Siri reminds you to take a minute of “Mindfulness,” why not use that time to collect your thoughts, count your blessings, and pray a prayer of thanksgiving.
The Benefits of Gratitude
Do you believe gratitude’s benefits accrue over time?
The Apostle Paul told the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 4:15 NLT, ““All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace (abounds) reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.” Where thanksgiving abounds, grace abounds. We need to be at work building a culture of gratitude.
The positive effects of gratitude writing compound like interest. You might not notice the benefit of a daily or weekly practice, but after several weeks and months, you will. Here are three of my favorites:
1. Gratitude improves your mood.
People who regularly express gratitude for the positive things in their life are shown to be happier overall. Gratitude disconnects us from toxic, negative emotions and the ruminating that often accompanies them. Writing a letter “shifts our attention” so that our focus is on positive emotions. Equally important…
2. Gratitude gives a greater satisfaction with life.
A
review of 70 studies that include responses from more than 26,000 people found an association between higher levels of gratitude and lower levels of depression. Some reported that gratitude made them
less materialistic and less likely to experience burnout. Likewise,3. Gratitude gives better mental and physical health.
Anxiety often involves excessive worry and negative thinking — typically about things that happened in the past or may occur in the future. Gratitude can be a coping tool for anxiety. Regularly practicing gratitude combats negative thinking patterns by keeping thoughts focused on the present.
If you find yourself focusing on negative thoughts about the past or future, challenge yourself to find something you are grateful for now. It will break the negative thought process and return you to the present.
Gratitude and the response it causes help bring down your blood pressure, heart rate and breathing to help with overall relaxation. Other benefits include lower levels of cellular inflammation, greater resiliency, and even the development of patience, humility, and wisdom.
Gratitude Transforms Your Prayer Life
Can gratitude transform the way I pray?
Many good things result from giving, not the least of which is gratitude . The needs of other believers are met and they will joyfully express their thanks to God.
Here, gratitude seems to be tied to giving. But notice the Person who receives the thanksgiving: God! We need to say to God often and to others continually: Thank you!
Something happens to us when we do. Perhaps you need to pray: make me more thankful Lord! Help me to be positive in a sea of negativism. Change and transform me I pray.
Saying thank you is nothing new. But practicing gratitude — regularly focusing on the positive parts of your life — is about more than having good manners. It can be a powerful health habit.
Gratitude in All Circumstances
Even when unexpected difficulties pop up?
Paul told the Thessalonians to give thanks in
all circumstances. Is that even possible? Most of the time we are irritated when unexpected difficulties pop up. The kind of gratitude that pleases God is maintained when life goes bump!
Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. Someone said thanksgiving is
thanks-living. To live life with a capital “L” choose to be grateful. Be a lifelong learner of gratitude in action. And when challenges come, be thankful for Someone who cares enough to listen.
“Sing and make music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Eph 5:19-20
